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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Spotted on Telegram:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Just landed via Slack:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll be seeing this post a lot then! 🧠🎨😅

algorithm, beauty, dear, humor, media, only, people, person, please, post, request, sense, show, smart, smart person, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

3 weeks ago

business, business motive, care, casino, company, gambling, heal, healing, health, health care, irony, motive, pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical company, skepticism, trust, want, wants, win, winning
According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

4 months ago

am, BMI, body, body image, height, humor, i, image, joke, short, shortness, too
When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

2 months ago

eye, humor, moon, night, November, season, time, weather
I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

2 months ago

before, choices, decision, humor, i, know, me, never, risk, smart, stopped
This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

2 months ago

even, humor, joke, scotch, tape, taste
I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

2 months ago

2, 5, being, explain, humor, i, love, nap, Saturday, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

20 shares on X this month:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Making waves on Instagram:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Trending via Instagram:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Just shared via Slack:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨