Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.