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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Just landed via Reddit:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Just landed via Threads:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Seen just now on Threads:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Spotted on Telegram:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Live now on Messenger:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Listening to legs: the ultimate way to make new friends… or get weird looks! 👂🦵😂

actually, awkward, awkward situation, doing, ear, eavesdropping, funny question, hear, hell, hold, humor, know, leg, question, say, situation, stranger, strangers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

0

2 months ago

confusion, expression, face, game, going, great, humor, i, idea, poker
My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

0

2 months ago

change, color, color scheme, colors, different, house, humor, i, know, new, scheme, towels, wife
Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

0

2 months ago

blame, blaming, feng, Feng Shui, furniture, humor, irony, mistakes, self-reflection, shui, stop, study
Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

0

2 months ago

ask, conflict, eavesdropping, fighting, humor, i, knock, know, neighbors, observation, side, speak, wall
As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, everything, hate, humor, normal, older, perspective, realization, realize, Smurf
The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

0

1 month ago

bedtime, end, free, free time, late, management, most, night, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, us, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Slack this month:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Going viral on X:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Just shared via Discord:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Trending via TikTok:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Making waves on Slack:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Making waves on WeChat:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨