Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Seen just now on Discord:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Going viral on Reddit:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Shared recently on X:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Making waves on Telegram:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Trending via WeChat:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful text about avoiding car rides with loud screamers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If you're going to be a backseat driver, at least do it quietly 🚗💥 Otherwise, it's going to be a real scream fest in here! 😂"

car, driving, even, every, hit, humor, i, just, passenger, reaction, scream, something, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

51 shares on X this month:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

40 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

43 shares on Discord this month:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

35 shares on Discord this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

84 shares on YouTube this month:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Trending via Instagram:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Spotted on Reddit:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Shared recently on Threads:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Making waves on YouTube:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

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Activity Log ✨

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨