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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has shared:

If we breakup because you β€œwanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has shared:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has bookmarked:

Whoever first said, β€œI’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

People should come with warning labels.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via TikTok:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Just shared via Facebook:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Spotted on Facebook:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Going viral on Threads:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Going viral on Slack:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Live now on Telegram:

The tag on my jeans says β€œRelaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

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Commentary:
When it comes to cheese, my heart says "just keep grating" and my wrist says "seriously, I'm tired now" πŸ§€β€οΈπŸ˜‚

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

44 shares on Slack this month:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Friends with consequences.

77 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to β€œget those beans brewing”.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has shared:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has shared:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has copied:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Instagram:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Trending via Slack:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Trending via YouTube:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Broadcasted on X:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Making waves on Twitch:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Making waves on X:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

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