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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Just shared via Twitch:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Freshly posted on X:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Seen just now on Threads:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about carefree happiness and avoiding drama with playful, humorous words.

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Commentary:
"Living that 'Goals Before Rolls' life! 😎💪 #KeepGrinding #SunshineForTheSoul"

culture, grind, humor, media, modern, modern slang, parody, phrase, phrase parody, playful, pop, pop culture, slang, social, social media, sunshine, witty

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Just shared via TikTok:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Making waves on Threads:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Going viral on Messenger:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Going bananas on X:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Seen just now on Facebook:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Spotted on WeChat:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Trending via WeChat:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

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Activity Log ✨

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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