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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Just shared via Reddit:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Going viral on WeChat:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Spotted on WeChat:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living that 'Goals Before Rolls' life! 😎💪 #KeepGrinding #SunshineForTheSoul"

culture, grind, humor, media, modern, modern slang, parody, phrase, phrase parody, playful, pop, pop culture, slang, social, social media, sunshine, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

6 months ago

delay, humor, ID, joke, laziness, pill, procrastination, take, tomorrow
Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

2 months ago

care, dump, friendship, health, humor, invitation, mental, mental health, movie, nap, order, over, pizza, relaxation, self, self-care, take, trauma, trauma dump, want, watch
Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

3 months ago

anger, frustration, give, humor, joke, just, me, minute, rage, rage room, relief, room, stress, stress relief
That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

2 months ago

alarm, depressing, depressing moment, disappointment, false, false alarm, fire, fire alarm, humor, just, moment, surprise, test, work, workplace, workplace humor
Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

2 months ago

annoying, comments, enhance, entertainment, experience, humor, i, movie, opinion, people
Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

2 months ago

good, humor, metaphor, morning, motivation, only, positivity, wind, wings

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

59 shares on X this month:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

21 shares on Slack this month:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

40 shares on YouTube this month:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Just shared via YouTube:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Seen just now on Discord:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Trending via Threads:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Going viral on WeChat:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Freshly posted on X:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨