Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Going viral on TikTok:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Trending via TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Going bananas on X:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Going viral on X:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Trending via Twitch:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

4 weeks ago

Humorous text about sharing dad jokes and increasing sighs from followers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Now that's what I call a 'dad-tastic' growth strategy! 😂📈 #PunIntended #DadJokeMagic"

comedy, dad, dad joke, ever, followers, growth, humor, i, joke, jokes, media, sharing, size, social, social media

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

13 shares on Slack this month:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

16 shares on Discord this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

95 shares on X this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

55 shares on X this month:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Making waves on Discord:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Making waves on Twitch:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨