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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Just shared via Twitch:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Seen just now on Facebook:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Making waves on Reddit:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Going viral on Facebook:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Live now on Slack:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

2 months ago

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51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

63 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

86 shares on Reddit this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Live now on Facebook:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Spotted on Threads:

Netflix & by yourself.

Spotted on Telegram:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

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Activity Log ✨

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨