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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Just shared via Telegram:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Going viral on Slack:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Making waves on X:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Making waves on Facebook:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

7 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about childhood confidence and asserting boundaries in a humorous tone.

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Commentary:
Ah yes, the childhood dream of becoming a professional "tone monitor" is finally coming true! 🎤🕵️‍♀️✨

attention, childhood, communication, ever, humor, i, little, me, people, speak, speech, wanted, watch

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22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

38 shares on X this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

76 shares on Threads this month:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

49 shares on Discord this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Spotted on Slack:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just landed via Messenger:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Spotted on Facebook:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Making waves on Reddit:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Spotted on YouTube:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Spotted on Reddit:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

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Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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