Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,760

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Just shared via WeChat:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Trending via Facebook:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Trending via Facebook:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Just shared via Facebook:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Making waves on Reddit:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Going viral on Discord:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Spotted on Reddit:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah yes, the childhood dream of becoming a professional "tone monitor" is finally coming true! 🎤🕵️‍♀️✨

attention, childhood, communication, ever, humor, i, little, me, people, speak, speech, wanted, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

0

2 months ago

budgeting, food, grocery, grocery shopping, home, humor, i, mom, money, once, own, parenting, realization, right, shopping, spending, started
“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward conversation, conversation, funny question, going, grandparents, hate, heaven, humor, i, oh, okay, question, small, small talk, talk, think
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chest, girl, girls, humor, i, laid, last, laugh, laughing, me, moment, relationship, time
Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

0

1 month ago

anything, everything, exaggeration, humor, interest, interested, sarcasm
I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

0

2 months ago

door, front, front door, honesty, humor, i, liar, mat, sarcasm, welcome, welcome mat
I love when lashes make me look evil.

0

3 months ago

beauty, evil, evil look, humor, i, lash, love, makeup, me

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on YouTube this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

31 shares on Slack this month:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Seen just now on X:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨