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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Broadcasted on X:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Shared recently on X:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Just landed via Instagram:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you're in the group chat just for the background noise 🎻😂📴

chat, communication, every, group, group chat, humor, introvert, me, media, messaging, never, participant, person, self-deprecating, silent, silent participant, social, social media, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

0

2 months ago

glass, glass house, house, houses, humor, hypocrisy, irony, judgment, live, people, put, sarcasm, should, watchlist
Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

0

2 months ago

communication, days, definitely, humor, life, married, married life, me, misunderstanding, never, only, partner, relationship, repetition, row, same, say, sentence, telling, told
Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

0

2 months ago

critique, dessert, food, food critique, humor, i, odd, odd people, people, preference, review, sweet, too
Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

0

2 months ago

after, death, dust, email, existential, humor, life, mortality, remember, reminder, return, send
After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

0

2 months ago

after, away, cheese, confirm, enough, food, grandma, humor, i, italian, month, much, never, Parmesan, pasta, scare, too, travel
Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, clothes, comeback, fashion, humor, sorry, style, trend, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Reddit this month:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨