Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Going viral on X:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Shared recently on X:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Trending via Threads:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Seen just now on Messenger:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Just landed via Discord:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern bedtime story of scrolling through endless feeds and dodging sleep like it's a pending deadline 📱😴 Who needs sheep when you can count notifications, right? Sweet dreams, may your charger be forever close at hand! 🔌😂"

bedtime, cell, cell phone, distraction, every, hours, humor, i, night, phone, procrastination, ritual, six, small

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

68 shares on Discord this month:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

10 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Breaking via YouTube:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Broadcasted on Discord:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Freshly posted on X:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Live now on YouTube:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

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