Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.
  • Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.
  • The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.
  • I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.
  • Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.
  • Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?