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Commentary:
"Watching Hoarders is the ultimate cleaning procrastination technique – suddenly that pile of laundry doesn't look so bad 😅🧹 #CleaningInspiration"

clean, cleaning, decide, dirty, every, Hoarders, house, humor, i, mess, organization, procrastination, reality, reality TV, time, TV, urge, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

0

2 months ago

addiction, carb, craving, food, humor, i, love, relationship, soulmate, think
Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

0

4 days ago

betrayal, getting, gray, humor, keys, marriage, pants, personal, powerful, prediction, psychic, relationship, tell, things, wife
People who scream sneeze need their own island.

0

2 months ago

humor, island, isolation, need, own, people, scream, sneeze, unique
You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

0

2 months ago

attraction, cartoon, give, Goofy, humor, hyuck, i, love, weird
Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

0

2 months ago

car, collection, hobby, hot, Hot Wheels, humor, i, over, playful, toy, visit, wheels
People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

0

2 months ago

anything, emotion, hate, love, none, people, perception, relationship, self

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

14 shares on X this month:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

45 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

53 shares on Discord this month:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

All I think about is death and sex.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Just shared via YouTube:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨