Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

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Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

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Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

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Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

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I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

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I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

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Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

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I would prefer not to.

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If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

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The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

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Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?