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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Just landed via Telegram:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Breaking via Threads:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Spotted on Discord:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Just landed via Instagram:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Just landed via Pinterest:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Just shared via Facebook:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Funny quote about avoiding cleaning by watching Hoarders and feeling better about messiness.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watching Hoarders is the ultimate cleaning procrastination technique – suddenly that pile of laundry doesn't look so bad 😅🧹 #CleaningInspiration"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Coffee is just goth water.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

11 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Just shared via Messenger:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Just shared via Instagram:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Just landed via Facebook:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Going bananas on Slack:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

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