Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Going viral on Facebook:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Making waves on Instagram:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Trending via Pinterest:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Going viral on X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Making waves on Messenger:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Live now on Messenger:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Playful quote about empathy and humor, highlighting how comments can unintentionally worsen moods.
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Commentary:
"Remember, folks, kindness is free – unlike that chatty neighbor who always comments on your dark circles! 😅 Let's spread good vibes instead of unsolicited observations, shall we? 💫 #BeKind #SmileAndWave"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

41 shares on X this month:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

55 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Weddings should have a worst man.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Trending via Instagram:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Going viral on Reddit:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Trending via YouTube:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Breaking via Telegram:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Making waves on YouTube:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

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