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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Just shared via X:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Going viral on WeChat:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Going viral on Facebook:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Going viral on Twitch:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Making waves on Reddit:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Just landed via Twitch:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Shared recently on Threads:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

3 weeks ago

0

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Pretty sure my phone buzzes more for cake reminders than for actual calls! 🎂📱😂"

app, birthday, birthday reminder, Facebook, humor, media, over-engineering, reminder, social, social media, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

0

2 months ago

eat, expression, food, humor, italian, language, leave, means, rhyme, saying, soup, take, take it or leave it, throw, window, yourself
You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

0

2 months ago

delicious, food, friends, friendship, fry, guess, humor, i, play, play on words, saying, spell, words
When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

0

2 months ago

childhood, cicada, funny thought, heat, hot, i, kid, misconception, nature, outside, real, sound, summer, sunshine, thought
Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

0

3 months ago

AI, center, conservation, data, data center, drink, drinking, humor, much, need, only, please, resource, sure, technology, thirst, thirsty, too, water
Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

0

5 months ago

case, correction, grammar, humor, interest, just, know, language, peaked, piqued, spelling, usage, word, word usage
I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

0

2 months ago

coping, humor, i, listen, listening, opinions, sarcasm, self-defense, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

55 shares on X this month:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

55 shares on YouTube this month:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Just landed via Facebook:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Trending via Pinterest:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Just landed via Reddit:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Making waves on X:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

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