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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Just landed via Messenger:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Trending via WeChat:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Live now on Twitch:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Trending via Snapchat:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Trending via Instagram:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Spotted on WeChat:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Trending via TikTok:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Just landed via WeChat:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

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