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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Trending via Twitch:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Trending via YouTube:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Funny abacus quotes

Funny abacus quotes bring a splash of laughter to the world of numbers and beads! 😂🧮 Whether you’re a math geek or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines add charm to counting and calculations. Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even rethink your math game with humor that’s as timeless as the abacus itself! 😄✨ #MathHumor #AbacusFun

New funny abacus quotes 👇

All funny abacus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

92 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,534

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Just landed via X:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Just landed via X:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Trending via WeChat:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

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