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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

10 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Reported on TikTok:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Trending via WeChat:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Trending via TikTok:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Home » Funny Advance Quotes

Funny advance quotes

New funny advance quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 'go with the flow' type who really just wants to control the river currents! 🌊🔄 Planning is key, spontaneity is the enemy! ⏰😅 #TypeAFlow"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Commentary:
"Who needs a watch when you can tell time by your stomach growling? 🍔⏰ #FoodieLife #HungryAlways"

For even more funny advance quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny advance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

10 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Spreading quickly via X:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Making waves on Twitch:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Seen just now on YouTube:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Just shared via X:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

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