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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Spotted on Discord:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Just landed via Twitch:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Seen just now on Slack:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Spotted on Reddit:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Funny advance quotes

Funny advance quotes are the perfect way to bring laughter and good vibes before any big event 🎉😄 Whether you’re gearing up for a birthday, wedding, or holiday, these witty and clever lines will have you chuckling in no time 😂✨ Get ready to brighten up your day and share some smiles with friends and family ahead of the celebration! 🎈🎊

New funny advance quotes 👇

All funny advance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

17 shares on X this month:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Making waves on X:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Just landed via X:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Going viral on Slack:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Spotted on Messenger:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Breaking via Twitch:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

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