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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Going bananas on Twitch:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Seen just now on Threads:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Trending via TikTok:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Breaking via X:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Spotted on WeChat:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

30 shares on Slack this month:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Making waves on Reddit:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Going viral on Discord:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Just shared via Instagram:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

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