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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Trending via Slack:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Making waves on TikTok:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Just shared via X:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Going viral on Reddit:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Trending via Messenger:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Just landed via Slack:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

10 shares on Twitch this month:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

87 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Spotted on Instagram:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Just landed via Slack:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

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