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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Breaking via Threads:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Shared recently on X:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Making waves on Messenger:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Funny Android quotes

Funny Android quotes bring a tech-savvy twist to the world of smartphones and gadgets. 🤖😂 From witty remarks about software quirks to playful jabs at mobile mishaps, these quotes capture the humorous side of using Android devices. Enjoy a chuckle as you navigate the highs and lows of your favorite tech! 🤖😂

New funny Android quotes 👇

All funny Android quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on TikTok this month:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

At least life has music.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Making waves on Instagram:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Just shared via TikTok:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Going viral on Threads:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Spotted on Instagram:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

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