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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Trending via WeChat:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Breaking via Snapchat:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Making waves on Threads:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Trending via Messenger:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Funny Android quotes

Funny Android quotes bring a tech-savvy twist to the world of smartphones and gadgets. 🤖😂 From witty remarks about software quirks to playful jabs at mobile mishaps, these quotes capture the humorous side of using Android devices. Enjoy a chuckle as you navigate the highs and lows of your favorite tech! 🤖😂

New funny Android quotes 👇

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

0

2 months ago

Android, iPhone, loyalty, person, stubborn, switch, technology

Someone from 🇬🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

16 shares on Slack this month.
If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

0

2 months ago

Android, arguing, check, communication, ever, humor, just, parenting, sarcasm, say, something, sure, technology, teen

Someone from 🇹🇼 has recently shared this quote.

16 shares on Threads this month.

All funny Android quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

87 shares on Slack this month:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Muting morons is good for your health.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Trending via Messenger:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Just shared via Instagram:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Going bananas on Facebook:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Just landed via TikTok:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

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