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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Breaking via Reddit:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Talents: eating!

Breaking via WeChat:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Just landed via Facebook:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Shared recently on X:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Live now on Slack:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Just shared via Telegram:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Just landed via Instagram:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Breaking via WeChat:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

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