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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Just landed via Reddit:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Just landed via YouTube:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Live now on Snapchat:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Just landed via X:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Home » Funny Astrological Sign Quotes

Funny astrological sign quotes

Funny astrological sign quotes bring out the hilarious side of your zodiac personality 🌟😂 Whether you’re a fiery Aries or a dreamy Pisces, these witty sayings capture all the quirks and cosmic vibes that make your sign uniquely YOU ♈️✨ Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share with your starry-eyed friends! 💫🌙 #ZodiacHumor #AstroLaughs

New funny astrological sign quotes 👇

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

0

2 months ago

astrological, astrological sign, cancer, death, else, health, humor, irony, people, sign, think, weird, zodiac
I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

0

2 months ago

astrological, astrological sign, astrology, eat, eating, humor, i, just, Leo, personality, sign, zodiac

All funny astrological sign quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,953

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Making waves on Facebook:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Making waves on Threads:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Seen just now on Threads:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Making waves on Slack:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Trending via Discord:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Seen just now on Threads:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Going viral on Slack:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Just landed via Threads:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

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