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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Just shared via Slack:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Going bananas on Slack:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Making waves on Facebook:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Trending via Discord:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Funny automated quotes

New funny automated quotes 👇

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

0

2 months ago

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has recently copied this quote.

119 shares on YouTube this month.
Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

0

2 months ago

automated, automated phone system, call, customer, customer service, digit, digits, enter, frustration, humor, joke, math, math humor, phone, phone call, Pi, please, representative, service, speak, system

Someone from 🇸🇰 has recently shared this quote.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny automated quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Messenger this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Trending via Snapchat:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Live now on Facebook:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

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Funny automated quotes

New funny automated quotes 👇

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

All funny automated quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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