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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

1 minute ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Just landed via X:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Just shared via X:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Making waves on Threads:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Seen just now on Twitch:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Trending via Discord:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Home » Funny Automated Quotes

Funny automated quotes

New funny automated quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Commentary:
"Ah, the famous last twelve digits of Pi – because pressing endless numbers is definitely a slice of Pi in the sky! 🥧😂 Don't worry, your call is important to us… once you've calculated Pi to the last digit! 🔢🤓"

For even more funny automated quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny automated quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

1 minute ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Spotted on Messenger:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Trending via Facebook:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Spotted on TikTok:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Breaking via X:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

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