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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Seen just now on Slack:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Making waves on Threads:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Going viral on Instagram:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Just shared via WeChat:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Going viral on Discord:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Just landed via Threads:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Funny award ceremony quotes

Funny award ceremony quotes bring the perfect mix of laughter and celebration to any event 🎉😂 Whether you’re hosting, attending, or just looking for some witty inspiration, these clever lines add sparkle and smiles to the stage ✨🏆 Get ready to chuckle, cheer, and maybe even steal a few hilarious one-liners for your next big night! 😄🎤 #AwardShowLaughs #CelebrateWithHumor

New funny award ceremony quotes 👇

All funny award ceremony quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WeChat this month:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

89 shares on Threads this month:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

45 shares on Discord this month:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

36 shares on YouTube this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

66 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is losing your mind a hobby?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,452

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Spotted on Reddit:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Breaking via YouTube:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Making waves on X:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Trending via Threads:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Just landed via X:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Shared recently on YouTube:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

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