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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

People should come with warning labels.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,956

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Trending via Facebook:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Just shared via X:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Just shared via Slack:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Just shared via Slack:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Just shared via Messenger:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Home » Funny Bed Time Quotes

Funny bed time quotes

New funny bed time quotes 👇

All funny bed time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,829

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Breaking via YouTube:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Breaking via Twitch:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Breaking via TikTok:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

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