Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Going viral on Twitch:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Making waves on Facebook:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Making waves on X:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Trending via YouTube:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Shared recently on Slack:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Making waves on WeChat:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Funny bed time quotes

New funny bed time quotes 👇

All funny bed time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

13 shares on X this month:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

70 shares on X this month:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Making waves on Threads:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Just shared via Telegram:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Shared recently on X:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Spotted on Snapchat:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

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