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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Just shared via TikTok:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Seen just now on Slack:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Trending via Slack:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Just shared via Reddit:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Funny birth control quotes

Funny birth control quotes are the perfect way to add some humor to a serious topic! 😄 Whether you’re sharing laughs with friends or lightening the mood around family planning, these witty sayings bring a playful twist to contraception conversations 💊😂. Ready to giggle and get inspired? Let’s dive into some clever lines that prove birth control can be both smart and silly! 🎉💬

New funny birth control quotes 👇

All funny birth control quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

56 shares on X this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

34 shares on Twitch this month:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

10 shares on Threads this month:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Seen just now on X:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Breaking via Discord:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Going viral on Facebook:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Just landed via Instagram:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

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