Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Going viral on Instagram:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Just landed via Threads:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Making waves on Instagram:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Making waves on X:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Spotted on Discord:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Just landed via Instagram:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Making waves on Facebook:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Funny birth control quotes

Funny birth control quotes are the perfect way to add some humor to a serious topic! 😄 Whether you’re sharing laughs with friends or lightening the mood around family planning, these witty sayings bring a playful twist to contraception conversations 💊😂. Ready to giggle and get inspired? Let’s dive into some clever lines that prove birth control can be both smart and silly! 🎉💬

New funny birth control quotes 👇

All funny birth control quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on TikTok this month:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Just landed via Messenger:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Going viral on Telegram:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

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