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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Freshly posted on X:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Spotted on Telegram:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Shared recently on Discord:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Funny birth date quotes

New funny birth date quotes 👇

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

0

2 months ago

aging, birth, birth date, date, forms, getting, getting older, halfway, having, humor, i, nap, noticed, observation, older, online, online forms, scrolling, short, stop, technology, thing, year

Someone from 🇨🇿 has recently shared this quote.

114 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny birth date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

52 shares on Facebook this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

62 shares on Facebook this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Shared recently on X:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Trending via Messenger:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Live now on X:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Making waves on Discord:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Making waves on Threads:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny birth date quotes

New funny birth date quotes 👇

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

All funny birth date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨