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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Making waves on YouTube:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Breaking via Facebook:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Trending via WeChat:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Funny birth date quotes

New funny birth date quotes 👇

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

2 weeks ago

aging, birth, birth date, date, forms, getting, getting older, halfway, having, humor, i, nap, noticed, observation, older, online, online forms, scrolling, short, stop, technology, thing, year

All funny birth date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

61 shares on Threads this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

30 shares on Facebook this month:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Breaking via Telegram:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Trending via Slack:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Going viral on X:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Seen just now on Discord:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Freshly posted on X:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Making waves on Twitch:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Making waves on Instagram:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny birth date quotes

New funny birth date quotes 👇

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

All funny birth date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨