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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Making waves on Messenger:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Trending via Instagram:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Seen just now on Threads:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Funny blackout curtain quotes

New funny blackout curtain quotes 👇

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

0

2 months ago

blackout, blackout curtain, control, curtain, decision, humor, sleep, time

Someone from 🇳🇬 has recently bookmarked this quote.

92 shares on Instagram this month.
Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

0

5 months ago

1, am, blackout, blackout curtain, confusion, curtain, curtains, dangerous, daytime, here, humor, indoor, night, outside, sleep, time

Someone from 🇱🇦 has recently bookmarked this quote.

15 shares on Discord this month.

All funny blackout curtain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You lose some, you lose some more.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

60 shares on Discord this month:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

53 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Spotted on WeChat:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Spotted on Reddit:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Trending via YouTube:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Shared recently on X:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny blackout curtain quotes

New funny blackout curtain quotes 👇

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

All funny blackout curtain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨