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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Seen just now on X:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Reported on X:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Just landed via Threads:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Just shared via WeChat:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Trending via X:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Spotted on Threads:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Shared recently on Twitch:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Trending via Twitch:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Just shared via WeChat:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Reported on Reddit:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Making waves on Slack:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Seen just now on Threads:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Making waves on Messenger:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Just shared via Discord:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

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