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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Live now on Telegram:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Breaking via WeChat:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Spotted on TikTok:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Trending via WeChat:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Just landed via Slack:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Just shared via Instagram:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Funny booby quotes

Funny booby quotes 🐦💬 are the perfect mix of cheeky humor and lighthearted fun! Whether you’re a bird lover or just enjoy a good giggle, these witty lines will have you cracking up in no time 😂✨. Get ready to spread some smiles and share the joy with friends—because who doesn’t need a little playful laughter in their day? 🎉🐤 #BirdHumor #LaughOutLoud

New funny booby quotes 👇

All funny booby quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Threads this month:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

11 shares on Discord this month:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Breaking via WeChat:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Just landed via Messenger:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Going viral on Slack:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Going viral on Twitch:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Just shared via Slack:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

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