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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Just landed via Threads:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Just shared via Messenger:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Funny book lover quotes

Funny book lover quotes 📚😂 capture the hilarious side of being a devoted reader—those moments when you’d rather escape into a story than adult! Whether you’re a page-turning pro or a proud book hoarder, these witty one-liners will have you laughing out loud 🤓🤣. Perfect for sharing with fellow bibliophiles or brightening up your reading nook, get ready to smile and nod in total bookish agreement! 📖✨

New funny book lover quotes 👇

All funny book lover quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on TikTok this month:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Trending via Slack:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Making waves on Messenger:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Going viral on Threads:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Just shared via YouTube:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Trending via Messenger:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Seen just now on Telegram:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Going bananas on Pinterest:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

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