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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I probably think this song is about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Making waves on Telegram:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Going viral on Facebook:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Shared recently on Discord:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Just landed via Reddit:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Funny companion quotes

Funny companion quotes bring laughter and warmth to every friendship moment 😂✨ Whether you’re sharing inside jokes or just enjoying each other’s quirks, these witty words capture the joy of having that hilarious partner-in-crime by your side 👫🎉 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you celebrate the fun and unpredictable magic of true companionship! 😄💬

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All funny companion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Instagram this month:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

95 shares on X this month:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Relationship status: he escaped.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

71 shares on Slack this month:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Making waves on Facebook:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Seen just now on Discord:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Just landed via Reddit:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Freshly posted on X:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Going viral on Threads:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Making waves on Facebook:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Spotted on Reddit:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

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