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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

10 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Live now on Telegram:

I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Just landed via Slack:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Making waves on TikTok:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

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Funny daily expense quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

10 seconds ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Spotted on Discord:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Going viral on Threads:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Reported on YouTube:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Breaking via Threads:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Trending via Threads:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Just landed via Messenger:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

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