Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Just shared via Instagram:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Spotted on Threads:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Seen just now on Threads:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Trending via Twitch:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Funny defeat quotes

Funny defeat quotes bring a playful twist to those moments when things don’t go our way 😅💥. Instead of feeling down, why not laugh it off and celebrate the art of bouncing back with humor? Whether you’re dealing with a minor oops or a major flop, these witty lines turn losses into laughs 🎉😂. Ready to embrace defeat with a grin? Let’s dive into some lighthearted vibes that make every setback a little bit sweeter! 😎✨

New funny defeat quotes 👇

All funny defeat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Twitch this month:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

25 shares on Threads this month:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

97 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

97 shares on X this month:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

10 shares on Slack this month:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Spotted on Instagram:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Live now on WeChat:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Breaking via Reddit:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Just shared via Twitch:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Going bananas on Threads:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴