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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Making waves on WeChat:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Breaking via Twitch:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Spotted on Messenger:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Freshly posted on X:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Shared recently on X:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Live now on Facebook:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Funny drum quotes

Funny drum quotes 🥁 bring the rhythm of laughter to every beat! Whether you’re a drummer or just love the sound of snare and cymbals, these witty one-liners will have you tapping your feet and cracking smiles. Get ready to strike a chord with humor that’s loud, proud, and totally on beat 🎶😂! Perfect for sharing with your drum squad or brightening up your music feed.

New funny drum quotes 👇

All funny drum quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

31 shares on WeChat this month:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

98 shares on Discord this month:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Going viral on Messenger:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Just landed via Facebook:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Just shared via WeChat:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Going bananas on Threads:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Breaking via Messenger:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

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