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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Spotted on Slack:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Live now on WhatsApp:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Trending via Instagram:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Shared recently on Slack:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Spotted on Telegram:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Trending via Twitch:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Funny emotional tension quotes

New funny emotional tension quotes 👇

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

3 days ago

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All funny emotional tension quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Just shared via Messenger:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Trending via WeChat:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Going viral on YouTube:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Making waves on Slack:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

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Activity Log ✨

Funny emotional tension quotes

New funny emotional tension quotes 👇

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

All funny emotional tension quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨