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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Trending via Telegram:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Just shared via Instagram:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Just shared via Slack:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Making waves on Facebook:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Spotted on X:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

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Funny energy drain quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Trending via X:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Going viral on Twitch:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Breaking via Discord:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Reported on X:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Making waves on WeChat:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just landed via Twitch:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Reported on Snapchat:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

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