Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Just shared via X:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Just shared via WeChat:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Just shared via Reddit:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Just landed via TikTok:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Trending via Reddit:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Just shared via Twitch:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Just shared via Messenger:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Funny ETA quotes

Funny ETA quotes 🚗⏳ bring laughter to those moments when waiting feels endless! Whether you’re stuck in traffic or eagerly awaiting a friend’s arrival, these witty sayings turn impatience into pure amusement 😂. Perfect for sharing in group chats or spicing up your social media updates, get ready to smile while you wait! 😄⌛ #WaitingGame #LOL

New funny ETA quotes 👇

All funny ETA quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

92 shares on X this month:

This whole week could have been an email.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

82 shares on Slack this month:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Spotted on YouTube:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Going viral on Discord:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Going viral on Slack:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

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