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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Seen just now on Threads:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Seen just now on Slack:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Spotted on Threads:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Funny ETA quotes

Funny ETA quotes 🚗⏳ bring laughter to those moments when waiting feels endless! Whether you’re stuck in traffic or eagerly awaiting a friend’s arrival, these witty sayings turn impatience into pure amusement 😂. Perfect for sharing in group chats or spicing up your social media updates, get ready to smile while you wait! 😄⌛ #WaitingGame #LOL

New funny ETA quotes 👇

All funny ETA quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

40 shares on Threads this month:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Just landed via YouTube:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Spotted on Discord:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Just landed via TikTok:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Just landed via Slack:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Just landed via Messenger:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Going viral on Twitch:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Spreading quickly via X:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

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