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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Shared recently on Threads:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Making waves on Threads:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Funny face washing quotes

New funny face washing quotes 👇

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

0

3 months ago

actually, cleaning, countertop, countertop cleaning, daily, daily routine, face, face washing, feet, feet washing, floor, floor cleaning, forearm, forearm washing, hair, hair washing, hand, hand washing, hands, humor, hygiene, multitasking, routine, shirt, shirt washing, washing

Someone from 🇬🇳 has recently shared this quote.

12 shares on Pinterest this month.

All funny face washing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Facebook this month:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

38 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Spotted on Discord:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Just shared via Pinterest:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Just landed via X:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Trending via Facebook:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Going bananas on Twitch:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Going viral on Reddit:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny face washing quotes

New funny face washing quotes 👇

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

All funny face washing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨