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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1916 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,078

Funny Quotes Topics

14,856

Funny Quotes Images

12,078

Updated

41 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Going viral on YouTube:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Freshly posted on X:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Seen just now on Discord:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Spotted on Threads:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1916 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,078

Funny Quotes Topics

14,856

Funny Quotes Images

12,078

Updated

41 seconds ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Just landed via Discord:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Breaking via Twitch:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Going viral on WeChat:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Live now on Twitch:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Trending via Pinterest:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Reported on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Spotted on Instagram:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

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