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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I say β€œlong story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has viewed:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has shared:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has shared:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has copied:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via WeChat:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Men be like, β€œThat’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Going bananas on Slack:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Breaking via Instagram:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Funny film critique quotes

Funny film critique quotes πŸŽ¬πŸ˜‚ bring a splash of humor to movie reviews, turning even the most serious critiques into laugh-out-loud moments! Whether you’re a movie buff or just love witty takes on Hollywood hits, these clever lines add sparkle ✨ to the silver screen. Get ready to see films in a whole new, hilarious light 🌟🍿 and enjoy critiques that entertain as much as the movies themselves!

New funny film critique quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny film critique quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, β€œI wonder how old this tree is.”

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

54 shares on Discord this month:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

41 shares on X this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has shared:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has copied:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has shared:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Threads:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

Making waves on Instagram:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Spotted on WeChat:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

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