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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Just landed via Instagram:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Spotted on Discord:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Reported on Twitch:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Going viral on Instagram:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

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Funny gastrointestinal quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Reported on Instagram:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Trending via Discord:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Spotted on YouTube:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Just shared via Threads:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Live now on WeChat:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

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