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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Going bananas on Slack:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Just shared via Snapchat:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Going viral on Messenger:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Making waves on Threads:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Trending via TikTok:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Funny harmless quotes

New funny harmless quotes 👇

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

0

2 months ago

aura, aura farming, cigarette, cigarettes, farming, harmless, humor, invent, invention, should

Someone from 🇹🇬 has recently copied this quote.

26 shares on Threads this month.
Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

0

2 months ago

cut, finger, harmless, humor, injury, job, life, never, office, office job, office life, paper, paper cut, workplace, workplace humor

Someone from 🇮🇱 has recently shared this quote.

50 shares on Instagram this month.

All funny harmless quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

85 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

89 shares on Slack this month:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Going viral on YouTube:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Going viral on X:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Seen just now on Slack:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Making waves on Twitch:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Making waves on Messenger:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny harmless quotes

New funny harmless quotes 👇

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

All funny harmless quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨