Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Going viral on Facebook:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Going viral on Slack:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Making waves on Slack:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Making waves on WeChat:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Making waves on Threads:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Funny headlight quotes

Funny headlight quotes 🚗💡 are the perfect way to brighten up your day and add a little humor to those nighttime drives! Whether you’re stuck in traffic or cruising down a dark road, these witty lines will have you shining brighter than your headlights. Get ready to laugh, light up your mood, and see the road from a whole new, hilarious perspective! 😄✨

New funny headlight quotes 👇

All funny headlight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Reddit this month:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

48 shares on YouTube this month:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

34 shares on Threads this month:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Spotted on Instagram:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Just shared via Threads:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Trending via Telegram:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Spotted on Messenger:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Trending via Pinterest:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Trending via Snapchat:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

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