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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Going viral on Reddit:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Going viral on Telegram:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Breaking via Discord:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Home » Funny Health Rule Quotes

Funny health rule quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Trending via YouTube:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Going viral on Facebook:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Spotted on Discord:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Spotted on Messenger:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

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