Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Body by sandwich.

Making waves on Threads:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Just landed via X:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Trending via Telegram:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Live now on TikTok:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Spotted on Telegram:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Just shared via X:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Funny homeless man quotes

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Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

52 shares on Discord this month:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I’m addicted to placebos.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

37 shares on Discord this month:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Seen just now on X:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Going bananas on Reddit:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

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