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3 months ago
Share →: Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

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"Ah, the joy of being held hostage in a meeting – it's like a free ticket to a boredom party! 🕰️🤦‍♂️ #OfficeLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Shared recently on Slack:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Spotted on Twitch:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Making waves on YouTube:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Making waves on Messenger:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Live now on TikTok:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

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Funny hostage quotes

New funny hostage quotes 👇

For even more funny hostage quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny hostage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

I’m not alone. I have ants.

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

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