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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Going viral on X:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Going viral on WeChat:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Shared recently on Discord:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Just shared via Discord:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Making waves on Reddit:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Trending via Reddit:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Funny ice cream man quotes

New funny ice cream man quotes 👇

All funny ice cream man quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

67 shares on YouTube this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

54 shares on Discord this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Just shared via Twitch:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Going viral on Telegram:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Just shared via Messenger:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Trending via X:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

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