Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Spotted on Messenger:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Freshly posted on X:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Funny ice cream parlour quotes

New funny ice cream parlour quotes 👇

All funny ice cream parlour quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on TikTok this month:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Making waves on Slack:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Just shared via Instagram:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Just shared via Facebook:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Trending via Threads:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Spotted on Slack:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Spotted on Facebook:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴