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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Just landed via Slack:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Just landed via Threads:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Making waves on Reddit:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Just landed via Facebook:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Funny immune quotes

Funny immune quotes are the perfect dose of laughter to boost your mood and keep those germs at bay! 😂🦠 Whether you’re battling a cold or just want to celebrate your body’s superhero squad, these witty lines will tickle your funny bone while giving a nod to your immune system’s hard work. 💪🌟 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort a little—because good vibes and strong defenses go hand in hand! 😄✨

New funny immune quotes 👇

All funny immune quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Making waves on X:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Seen just now on X:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Breaking via Reddit:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Trending via YouTube:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Just landed via X:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Just shared via WeChat:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Trending via Instagram:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

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