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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Making waves on Reddit:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Live now on Reddit:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Shared recently on Slack:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Breaking via Discord:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Spotted on Pinterest:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Live now on Twitch:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

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Funny Independence Day quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Trending via TikTok:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Trending via YouTube:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Reported on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

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