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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Going viral on YouTube:

How do I un-know people?

Shared recently on Discord:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Trending via WeChat:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Just landed via Threads:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Home » Funny Independence Day Quotes

Funny Independence Day quotes

Funny Independence Day quotes bring the perfect spark to your celebrations 🎆🇺🇸! Whether you’re grilling, partying, or just enjoying fireworks, a little humor adds extra pop to the patriotic vibes 🎉😄. Get ready to laugh out loud and share some witty lines that make freedom feel even more festive 🎇😂!

New funny Independence Day quotes 👇

All funny Independence Day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Telegram this month:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

36 shares on X this month:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

72 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Breaking via Twitch:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Spotted on Instagram:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Going bananas on Instagram:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

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