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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Trending via Pinterest:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Freshly posted on X:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Reported on Discord:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Making waves on Pinterest:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Reported on Snapchat:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Going viral on YouTube:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Reported on WeChat:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Broadcasted on Discord:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Just shared via Telegram:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

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